Learn You Inside Out
by Lelila Solo
Summary: This picks up where episode 9x3 left off in terms of the emotional shower scene between Callie and Arizona. It's my take on what happened after the cameras stopped rolling.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: _So I wanted the rest of that shower scene. This was supposed to be a one shot, but it has expanded and I have four or five chapters written out at this point. There was just so much raw emotion there that this popped into my head and spilled out on paper in a fabulous way. I haven't been inspired to write for a long time, and this was a breath of fresh air. I hope you all enjoy :) and let me know!_

* * *

"I have nowhere else to go! This is my life now too!"

Callie's broken voice cut through her cries of protest. Arizona stopped yelling and opened her eyes, watching her wife break down through the cascade of water from the shower head. _How had she missed this?_ Tears had flooded Callie's cheeks before the water could reach them. The smooth face cracked under lines of grief, smearing her features like the ruined mascara. Grief that she played a large hand in causing. The realization hit her hard; she felt like she was seeing Callie for the first time since the accident without a filter of pain to block everything out. She wasn't the only one hurting. "Callie."

"You were dying!" Callie gasped, spitting out water and tears and mascara that had seeped in through her open lips. "Why don't you get that? You were dying, Arizona. I was losing Mark and you were dying. I had to plead, beg, I broke down sobbing to get Hunt to let me do that surgery on you. Because I am your wife and I _knew_ that I wouldn't get you back if you lost the leg!"

Arizona tried to get Callie to look at her, but she was afraid to touch her.

"I was in surgery. And you coded. I told Karev to do it. It was your life or your leg, Arizona. I knew you would blame me, turn me into the bad guy who ruined your life, but at least you would have one. I chose your life. The alternative was not something I could live with."

She felt Callie's arms growing weak as they tried to support both of them as her body wracked with sobs. Her heart was breaking slowly, watching her strong Callie beaten down and broken. Knowing that it was her fault. "Callie."

"Mark died!"

"I – I know."

"And then you! I couldn't let you die, Arizona. Everyone around me dies. I'm like a one way ticket to the grave. But not you. If that makes me a bad doctor, or a bad wife, and you make me the bad guy of your existence for the rest of your life…You were dying! I shouldn't have even been your doctor! You _made _me say yes to that surgery! And then you coded! YOU DID THIS!" Callie smacked her hands against the tile wall. "Why did you do this to me?"

"What?"

"You shouldn't have been on that plane, Arizona. You can blame Karev all you want, I tried to hate him too, but it was your fault. You were too self-righteous. And now this is my life! You broke your leg and made me make a promise that you knew I couldn't keep! And then you tried to die!"

Arizona wasn't sure when she had turned the water off, or if she had, or when they had sunk to the wet floor together; jeans and yoga pants clinging to their skin like plastic wrap.

"And you have blamed me ever since."

"I –"

"Because you couldn't take responsibility for what YOU. DID!"

"Cal–"

"YOU. WERE. DYING!" Callie punctuated her words. "I saved your life."

Arizona reached out, past the fear, and pressed her hand to Callie's cheek, something she hadn't done in months. She felt Callie lean into her touch before those dark chocolate eyes met hers. "And you've been dying every day since."

The anger faded, replaced with fresh tears as her gaze dropped. "I'm sorry, Arizona. But I couldn't let you die."

Gently cradling Callie's jaw, Arizona coaxed her forward. "Come here."

Callie met her eyes again, but she shook her head. This moment would fade, and she couldn't get lost in it. "We have to get you clean. The meeting –"

"Will wait," Arizona said softly. She was in no place to make demands.

"No really, clean first," Callie said, a nervous chuckle breaking through her tears. Arizona rolled her eyes, but let Callie help her out of the wet clothes and wash. "Can you hold yourself long enough for me to get towels so we don't track water through the apartment?"

Arizona nodded, bracing herself against the wall when Callie pulled her arms away. _How had she let this happen? How had she gone so long without so much as touching her wife in the most innocent way?_ But before her mind could process, Callie came back, covered in a robe, holding out a soft, fluffy towel for Arizona to fall into. Literally.

She sat on the edge of the bed, fuzzy pajamas warming her, watching Callie throwing her drenched beautiful hair up into a haphazard ponytail.

"You still won't come?"

"I just can't, Callie. I…I can't."

With a huff, Callie let it go. "Okay."

"Please, come here." Arizona patted the bed beside her.

"I have to go."

"Callie." She watched her wife hesitate.

"Do you blame me Arizona?" Callie couldn't trust her.

Arizona had spent a month and a half in their bed. Not their bed, a bed designed for outpatient care in their bedroom. A bedroom that had become her bedroom while Callie lived on the couch. While Callie snuck in and our at night to change clothes, subsisting around her like a ghost. And she'd ignored Callie's existence for most of it. When Callie had tried to help her she'd screamed, snapped, thrown things, or coldly stared until her wife left the room. The one person obligated to help her. Just yesterday she had recoiled from Callie's touch with an accusatory glare, berated her when Callie tried to get her to do something for herself. No, she didn't blame Callie at all. "Please."

Callie took the few steps forward to stand next to her. That's all she was giving.

"I'm sorry."

The anger had thrown up familiar walls. But right now her face screamed exhaustion. She didn't have anything else to give to this tonight. She'd seen Arizona come back to life for the first time since she'd given the order, but she'd also lost control of her façade and it had let in her anger. She didn't respond.

"Callie, I'm so sorry," Arizona reached out and touched Callie's arm. She felt the flinch this time. _Pull away._

It was too much to deal with, knowing that this moment wouldn't last. The apology was an empty as her wife had been since she'd woken up from the surgery that had saved her life. Callie's eyes hardened. She took a step back. "Are you good? You don't need anything?"

"Cal–"

"I have a meeting, Arizona."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:_ I'm so glad that everyone liked the first part. Keep in mind that both of them are under some extreme emotional duress, not every decision is rational and anger makes us do some terrible things to the people we love the most. _

nc:_ Thanks! I'm hoping Shonda will give us some meat too._

Love it:_ Sorry it wasn't last night, my editor got mad at me and wouldn't let me post without her review._

Guest #1:_ I completely agree. I mean Callie is taking responsibility for the fact that she made the decision to cut off Arizona's leg, but Arizona, at some point just needs to get it through her head that Callie saved her life. Maybe she didn't want it to be saved, but Callie is a doctor and Callie took an oath to save lives. Arizona can't be mad at her for doing her job. Emotional duress messes with people. Arizona is going to be angry, that didn't disappear, and Callie is going to be angry, because she's finally letting herself be angry._

Guest #2: _I'm actually not mad at Arizona at all. I understand precisely why she is the way that she is. Arizona's character flaw is that she runs, and this is just another instance of it. Callie's character flaw is that she takes on too much, and doesn't know when to say no and stick up for herself. She has a huge heart. _  
_Keep in mind, we never saw their exchange when Arizona woke up from surgery, we have no idea what Callie said to her. This is my take on what happened after that shower scene, my take being that Callie said she was trying to save Arizona's life. To the point of repetitiveness, but that's what people do when they are trying to desperately make you see a point. There could absolutely be some other complication, but I really don't think that's it._  
_Callie says that to Karev because she was the lead doctor, she made the decision, and she made a promise to Arizona that she couldn't keep. Callie shouldn't have been Arizona's doctor in the first place and Arizona knew that. Arizona flat out knew the risks and knew what was going to happen to her. In making Callie make that promise, she gave herself a way out from blame. Callie isn't saying that she thinks she's a bad doctor. She's saying that she understands Arizona's need to blame someone else in order to process what is happening to her. Much like the case of that girl and her parents. It's not fair, I never said it was. _  
_Also, keep in mind. I'm a writer, and I take my job as such seriously. I do research. And if you've read any of my other work, you'll know that I write emotional duress pretty damn accurately._

_I've lost track of which guest is which after that. I'm sorry. :( You guys should label your reviews so I can respond better._

_Thank you to everyone for the welcome back messages, it is very good to be back. And thank you all for your reviews. However, attacking one another is not okay and I won't tolerate it. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and their perception. If you are going to attack each other, do it on your own time. I don't want to read them and neither does anyone else. This is a friendly zone people. I don't take flames on myself or anyone else. Anyone who signs their reviews so that I can respond in private knows that I do my best to respond to every review and I am willing to debate ideology in a friendly manner as much as you would like. So let's keep the attacks off the page, thanks._

_This one is short, so I'm hoping to get the next piece up later tonight or tomorrow morning. Have to wait on my editor ;)_

* * *

The moment the doors slid shut on the elevator, Callie broke down again. All she did was cry these days. Her life was slowly spinning away, like the water from their shower slipping down the drain. She would give anything to fall away from this life. For a beautiful moment, Arizona had come back. But she knew that she would be gone again that night. All the rage and anger hadn't disappeared. It had merely been momentarily displaced. Arizona would be turned off and tuned out again. Anything else would be too much to ask. Her moment of weakness would make everything worse. Arizona needed someone to blame. She understood that even while she didn't.

And that was why she was still crying when she pulled back into the hospital parking lot. That's why she agreed with Derek. No one else should ever have to go through it. Her life might be miserable, but if she could save someone else the misery by not taking the settlement, she would damn well try. And that was why she went home. Because of her daughter, and the fact that someone had to get something out of this even if it was Arizona using her as a metaphorical punching bag. But Arizona was hopefully asleep by now, and she could take a break from doing everything for everyone.

"Hey Bailey, thanks for picking her up," Callie stumbled back through her front door, wiping tears away. This day needed to be over.

"Don't mention it, Torres," Bailey managed a smile, even though one look at the poor woman's face made her want to scoop her up in the biggest mom hug. She'd been picking up Sofia and bringing her home every time Callie had to work late so the kid wouldn't spend all of her time in hospital daycare. God forbid another child go the way of Meredith Grey. "Next time, we're going for drinks."

Callie let a ghost of a smile touch her lips as she picked up Sofia. "Is Arizona – did she say – where –"

"She's in there," Bailey nodded towards the bedroom while shouldering her bag. "I checked on her when I got here. I think she's asleep."

Callie nodded, preoccupied with the child in her arms. "No Mama again, huh Sof?"

"Did…I got the impression that something happened," Bailey said softly. "Are you okay?"

"Never better," the acid left an impression on her tongue.

Bailey nodded.

"She's still in there, Bailey," Callie called over her shoulder. Bailey paused, her hand on the door. "Arizona's still in there. I just don't know if she'll ever come out again."

After a breath, she heard the door click shut. It was late. She put Sofia to bed and snuck into her bedroom to change and brush her teeth. The stench of the bathroom made her eyes water. Sighing, she broke out the bleach and scrubbed the floor until she was high off the fumes and drowning in tears. Sitting back on her calves, her blurry eyes met the shower. A moment's decision had her bleaching away the last sign of her wife giving a damn.

When she was satisfied that she had scrubbed every tile in the bathroom, she crossed back through her bedroom one last time to check on her wife. Moonlight gleamed off of Arizona's blonde hair and the urge to brush it off of her forehead was quickly becoming irresistible in her dazed state. Callie could almost believe that everything was normal. The bleach had given her a weightlessness that conventional methods hadn't brought about. Everything was fine.

Except it was the wrong bed.

And the sheets dipped too low, too soon.

And Arizona's brow was scrunched furiously. Even high, Callie knew that she was dreaming about the accident.

And she couldn't touch her wife.

Turning to leave, her fingers reached for the door when Arizona whimpered. Instinctively, she turned, her outstretched hand tucking the bangs away safely, a soothing whisper greeting the air. She decided to stay, exhaustion overcoming the high. Grabbing a blanket from a pile stacked in the corner, she settled down on the floor bedside and fell asleep.

* * *

"Callie," Arizona hit her with a pillow a little harder than necessary. "Callie what the hell are you doing?"

"What time is it?" Callie sat up too fast. Her muscles had cramped painfully from her position on the floor and she yelped, rubbing her back.

"Four thirty," Arizona answered shortly. "What are you doing?"

"Why did you wake me up?" Callie asked, suddenly attentive. "Do you need something?"

"No. Get up and go to bed, Callie." Arizona turned over, an annoyed snort reaching Callie's ears.

"I'd like to, Arizona," Callie snapped. Bitterness had taken up residence on her tongue. She picked herself up from the floor. "But it's been in storage for three months."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N:_ Hello lovelies! I'm glad that you're enjoying my foray into what's going on with Callie and Arizona's dynamics right now. I loved last night episode, definitely made me cry! Thanks for all the reviews, I love reading and responding to them._

Guest 2: _Oh honey, I wasn't offended. I just love a good argument. I appreciate your comments! I haven't read the other story, I don't have much time to read anything other than school work these days. But if I get the chance I'll check it out. I'm sorry if my comments seemed to stem from anger. I do think that because Arizona is such a type A person, that a part of her would want to die before she had to rely on someone else for the amount of help that she will now be needing because she is an amputee._

nc: _Thanks sweets!_

_There are two other guests who I would also like to address, the ones calling me biased. _  
_To the first of you, if you're going to call me biased and try to attack me, please at least try to be grammatically correct. It's biased, not bias, and saint, not sain. _  
_Now to both of you, I DO NOT HATE ARIZONA! Where the hell would you even get an idea like that? I love Arizona, I love writing Arizona. I wrote an ENTIRE FIC about Arizona. Please, please please please, I'm begging you both. Go through my fics and point out where I have written Arizona as a demon creature of the night and Callie as an angel of light. Because I know I didn't in Luxury, and I know I didn't in Black Rain. But if I missed something it will be addressed and corrected immediately._

_Rereading my comments I can understand why you would believe that I was biased in my author's note for the last chapter. However, what you fail to realized is that I was commenting on Arizona's character, not Callie's. If you have the desire to get into an in-depth character analysis discussion, I would be more than happy to oblige. Just PM me here, email me, or message me on Tumblr (there is a link on my profile page)._

_I am writing her true to character right now. She has a lot of anger and she has character flaws. Just like Callie does. And if you'd take a pill, this next chapter will almost certainly prove that. They are both right on some things and wrong on others and it will take some time for them to get over themselves and sort everything out. Arizona is not perfect, contrary to popular belief. So if you are one of the those people who believe that, my writing will never please you. So you might as well do us all a favor and abandon ship in regards to reading my fics. My fics are for readers who understand and appreciate the complexities of character, character development, character flaws, and relationships. Not everything is happy and pink. People are sometimes the bad guy. People are at fault. It's human nature._

* * *

"Why does everything smell like bleach?" Arizona demanded the next morning.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine," Callie snapped. The couch was decidedly more back breaking last night than it had been for the past several weeks.

"And why were you asleep on the floor?"

Callie pulled back the comforter swaddling her wife unceremoniously, almost glad when Arizona recoiled from the cold. "Oh I don't know, maybe I missed you."

_I miss you too. _The thought floated through her mind before anger could block it out. "You shouldn't."

"Well there's the first thing you've said in months that has made a bit of sense," Callie said, lifting Arizona from the bed and dumping her into the wheelchair.

"Ouch." Arizona glanced up at her curiously, Callie was usually so gentle.

"Welcome to apathy, Arizona. If that's how you want to play the game, then so be it. What will it be today, your holy leglessness? Bathroom and then breakfast, or vice versa?"

"Just leave," Arizona snapped. "I'll do it myself."

"Oh no," Callie started. "I did not spend all night scrubbing the bathroom for you to make more puddles on the floor. Or did you forget yesterday happened?"

_No, I didn't forget the way you broke down and then left_, Arizona thought.

They glared, each daring the other to break eye contact.

"I thought you came back yesterday," Callie said after too long. The fight was gone. "I guess I was wrong."

A few more beats of silence passed before Arizona quietly said, "Bathroom."

"This is getting old," Callie mumbled under her breath. If Arizona was going to make her into the bad guy, then she might as well have a legitimate reason for doing it. They went through the usual morning routine, Arizona uncharacteristically placated. No hurled insults caused Callie to flinch. She left her in front of the tv before returning to the bedroom to grab the hampers. Laundry hadn't been done in weeks and she was determined to rid the apartment of the smell of pee before Sofia woke up.

Blue eyes tracked Callie's movements through the apartment as she picked up discarded sweatshirts and socks. She was wearing black again and while it was a customary color for Callie, Arizona missed the color, she felt like she was in a perpetual funeral. Maybe they were. She thought Callie may have been right the night before. She wished her wife had stuck around and talked, but after her breakdown Callie had shut down and shut her out. And then she'd walked out. Arizona couldn't really blame her, but she hated getting a dose of her own medicine. And she understood that Callie had had to go to that meeting, but it had given the anger and resentment time to seep back in and boil her blood. How dare Callie blame everything on her, as if she didn't understand the life or death choice that she had left in Callie's hands. But she'd told Callie what she wanted. Callie had decided. So she had some responsibility. And then to ignore her apology blatantly as if she'd said nothing.

But…she had said some awful things to Callie. Except that was when her anger was a deflection and Callie was catching the brunt of something she didn't deserve, that Arizona had nowhere else to place. As much as she wanted to call out and make peace, she couldn't. She didn't even know how to start. An apology didn't get through Callie's thick skin, where else could she start? She just wished that Callie had let her die. Then she wouldn't be doing this to her. She knew what she was doing. Running. That's what she always did, although now the concept was distastefully ironic.

Mark would have called her out on it.

But he was gone. And she was still pretty sure that was partly her fault too.

And she couldn't do it by herself. She lost Tim, and Nick. And Mark. And now she was killing Callie, slowing draining the life from her body as if she'd placed a bullet in her foot. She could see the fight leaving her beautiful eyes more every day. The exhaustion set in earlier every night. A person could only take so much. Would Sofia be next?

It wasn't fair. None of it was fair. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't because that would just bring Callie running. And Callie would care. And that would just be another part of her gone. So Arizona stayed silent. And angry.

With Callie.

With Karev.

With the world.

But mostly with herself.

* * *

Callie didn't understand how one person could call so much attention to themselves by being completely silent for hours on end. She'd done three loads of laundry, fed and dressed Sofia, gone through every toy in the box, and put Sofia down for a nap before the silence at the other end of the room had woken her every nerve while it begged to be noticed. But she'd waited and waited because the only energy she had to deal with Arizona was fed by anger.

Anger that Arizona had shut down again.  
Anger that she had broken down in front of her.  
Anger that Mark was gone.  
Anger that the plane went down.  
Anger that Arizona had fired another home nurse so she was housebound.  
Anger that her life had finally not been a disaster for two seconds before it had gone down in flames again.  
But mostly angry with herself for not helping Arizona communicate before all of the lines had been disconnected, for letting Arizona be this way for so long that she didn't think they would ever make it back to how they used to be. She hadn't even asked Arizona why she'd fired the home nurses. After the first few days she never asked her anything other than "What can I get you?" She hadn't accepted Arizona's apology last night because she knew the shell would be back. Now she had given in to her anger and making peace was not an option, at the moment.

"I'm making lunch," Callie said. Arizona didn't respond. "Are you hungry?"

Silence.

"Arizona."

Silence.

Callie stormed over and turned off the tv.

"Hey!"

"Oh, for the love of God, Arizona. You haven't watched that screen since I turned it on. You don't even know what channel it was on, let alone what show you were watching."

Blue eyes glared at her, but when that was the only look she ever saw the effect was nonexistent.

"If you loved God, you wouldn't have married a woman."

Callie's jaw dropped. Her eyebrows shot up as she tried to make sure that she'd heard the stubborn blonde correctly. And then she exploded with laughter. "Seriously."

Arizona's glare hardened.

"That's the argument you're bringing to the table?" Callie managed to get out before sinking onto the couch, her skin dancing with laughter. "You can do better than that."

Arizona averted her eyes. It was ridiculous. "Shut up."

"Are you hungry?" Callie repeated, calming herself. She thought she'd seen a smile tug at Arizona's cheek. How she longed to see those dimples again.

"Not really," Arizona answered honestly. "Why aren't you working?"

She turned the wheelchair as Callie made her way back to the kitchen. "You fired the nurse again."

"Oh," Arizona nodded. "Look, I'll be fine if you –"

"No you look, could you just not be a total bitch to the next one?" Callie asked. Too harsh. "I get that you hate everything about being alive right now because frankly, I do too. But if I don't work, we will lose everything. So I need you to deal with the next one."

Arizona didn't appreciate being spoken to as if she were a child, even if she had been acting like one lately. "You mean the way you did with the physical therapists after your accident?"

"If you'll recall, I almost died! So do us all a favor and learn from my mistakes!" Callie slammed a pickle jar down on the stone counter. It shattered.

Arizona kept her face blank as her wife fell apart again.

_Callie was wrong. Callie wasn't a death sentence._

_She was._


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: _Hello dears, we are in the thick of Hurricane Sandy here so I figured it would be a good time to post an update. And since my classes are canceled for tomorrow, I'll probably get a lot of time to get the next chapter where I want it. I'm having some issues with that._

_As always, thank you for your comments. I really do try to listen to feedback and work in what you guys want to see happen so long as it fits, so keep it coming. Thanks to all my anons who review, I can't respond to you personally but I do appreciate it. _

_Enjoy :)_

* * *

Two weeks later and the new nurse had lasted twice as long as anyone else and about three times longer than Callie had predicted. If she was honest with herself, she would have bet money on Arizona firing her out of spite. But whether it was Arizona actually having listened to her, or that she just found a connection with this one, Callie was counting small miracles. The woman was young, had a sarcastic little spunk about her, and had called Arizona's bluff before she even stepped foot in the apartment.

"So, I've read your file, I know what I need to know so I'll do us both the favor of not rehashing those painful memories. I'm not even going to comment on how many nurses you've been through, but you aren't firing me because I think your wife will kill you and I'm not about to be an accessory to murder."

Callie had been standing in the kitchen, eavesdropping while she packed leftovers into Tupperware containers for lunch. The stunned look on Arizona's face had quiet snorts of laughter escaping despite her better judgment.

"So we can do this the fun and easy way, or the painful and hard way. That's your choice really. You don't have to talk to me at all save telling me what you need and how to help you. I have plenty of books I can sit here and read. But I'm going to do my job regardless."

Arizona looked over her head nervously to meet Callie's eyes across the room. Callie nodded reassuringly and turned back to checking her bags before she headed out.

"So what's it going to be?"

Arizona dropped her gaze. "What's your name again?"

"Kelsey," the nurse said with a smile.

"Okay."

Apparently, the first day had gone well after Callie had gone to work because Arizona didn't snap at her when she got home. And Kelsey had still been there, which was more of a shock than the fact that she was coming back the next day. Callie could now leave and not worry about Arizona's life being in danger while she was out. She was still sleeping on the couch, and they weren't exactly civil with each other yet, but Callie was starting to feel like she could have hope again. Hope that she and Arizona would one day talk again and that she would sleep in a bed again. And then they were buying a new couch. Because she had slept all of the stuffing out of the old one.

Life was progressing. The previous day, she'd come home to find Arizona laughing with Kelsey about something or other. A stab of jealousy had ripped through her heart, but she'd suppressed it. This was Arizona's recovery, she couldn't rush anything. And Arizona was getting stronger. Her skin wasn't as pale and sickly. She'd been getting around the apartment fairly well by herself, although the cramped doorways were presenting problems, and she still refused to leave it. She was eating more. She was paying more attention.

"You're wearing blue?" Arizona had commented over dinner.

Callie had looked down. She didn't even remember what she was wearing. "Uh, yeah."

A smile had pulled at Arizona's cheeks but fell short of exposing her dimples. "I missed the color."

* * *

"Anything you want to talk about?" Kelsey asked one quiet day.

"It's Tuesday," Arizona said, looking up. "Mark always…"

Tears choked her throat. She hadn't talked about him. Not with anyone. Callie threw his name around like a softball and it hit Arizona in the chest like a bullet every time.

"I'm sorry," she said when Kelsey leaned closer. "I haven't talked about him."

She nodded. "You went through a horrifically tragic event."

"Yeah."

Kelsey gave her a few minutes to calm down. "What did Mark do on Tuesdays?"

"He would take Sofia to the park. He didn't work on Tuesdays, usually. He would pick her up and take her for the day. They would go to the park and there was a little petting zoo, and … and she loved the goats."

"And Mark is Sofia's dad?"

"Was. Was Sofia's dad," Arizona said softly, she refused to let the tears fall. She refused to cry about any of it. That was letting it win.

"Is," Kelsey reaffirmed. She took Arizona's hand. "Mark is Sofia's dad. Just because he's gone, doesn't make him any less her father."

"I just feel like, if I had been able to take care of him better, maybe he wouldn't have died."

"Well, I think you know what you'll be talking about in therapy today."

After only two and a half weeks, Kelsey felt like she already understood Arizona better than Callie could ever dream of. Her heart went out to both of them, who were so connected and so dysfunctional that they couldn't help each other out of this tragedy. Survivor's guilt was paralyzing Arizona and Callie had no idea.

* * *

"How does it feel?"

"Fine." She stared down at the prosthesis protruding where her leg should be. It was ugly.

"Arizona," Kelsey said. She had grown to understand the strong-willed woman in their time together. Arizona needed to do things for herself, without an audience, to prove that she was strong enough. Even if it was risky to her well-being. "Do you want some time alone?"

Their eyes met in the mirror and Arizona nodded. Kelsey herded the prosthetist out of the room, allowing Arizona the time to process what was going on without being badgered by a doctor.

No one knew that she was here. No one. Not even Callie. Callie didn't know that she ever left the apartment. Callie had no idea she was in therapy or getting a cyborg leg molded to her stump of a leg. Because then Callie would want to be there. And Arizona wasn't strong enough for her support yet. But it was risky, because this was technically part of Callie's department, and she could walk in the door at any second. That's why Kelsey had enlisted the help of her sister, who Callie didn't know, to stand guard at the door during her sessions.

What it really came down to, at the end, was that Arizona was a different person. And she didn't want Callie to see her as a different person. Because if she was different, and Callie was different, and they weren't different together, where did that leave them? She wanted everything to be normal, but it wasn't. She didn't want Callie to watch her struggle. Or see her fall.

* * *

"Why am I still here?" Kelsey asked her after about a month. At Arizona's confused glance, she reworded her question. "The others didn't make it past a week, some not even a day. Why me?"

Arizona shrugged, continuing with the strengthening exercises she'd been given to do. "I don't know."

"I don't buy that," Kelsey said. "Your wife –"

"My wife doesn't know shit!" Arizona snapped. Her outburst caused her to slip and Kelsey caught her before she hit the ground. After she had her balance back, Arizona ripped away from Kelsey's hold and the nurse let her go.

Kelsey picked up Arizona's file out of her bag. When she'd first read it, she had only looked at numbers. Now, she looked at the names. They didn't ring any alarms. Two men, three women, she knew four of them but the last didn't register. Maybe she was new to the company. Something had happened that Arizona wasn't divulging. "You stuck with me because of Callie?"

"Sure," the snark had come back.

"Or because I don't threaten you?"

Arizona stared at her, trying to get a read on her intentions but Kelsey had one of the best poker faces she'd ever seen.

"All five of them couldn't have been that bad," Kelsey said. "The first one lasted a few days. I guess you were nervous about that one. She's nice, I know her, but I also know you, and you probably didn't like feeling helpless. Something embarrassing happened, and you didn't want to relive it. So she was out."

Arizona nodded sullenly. Kelsey wasn't going to back down.

"But there was nothing wrong with her."

"No." came the exaggerated sigh.

"The next one lasted a week. A guy, surprisingly. I know him too. A little too touchy feely for me. But he's a good guy."

Arizona had flinched. Her eyes had closed and she shook her head like she was trying to clear it.

"And then another woman, lasted a few days. Almost a week. The next guy lasted a day. And then the last woman lasted two," Kelsey treaded lightly. "So in three weeks you went through five nurses. And not a one of them did anything firable. Except one?"

Arizona looked at her, confused.

"What did Tom do, Arizona?" Kelsey was nervous; she almost didn't want to hear it.

Arizona laughed darkly, "If you think he raped me or something, you're crazy."

Kelsey let out a breath in relief. "But you flinched when I mentioned him."

"He reminded me of Mark," Arizona leveled. "That's it. He looks like Mark."

"So why am I still here?"

"Because," Arizona said honestly, "I finally admitted to myself that I needed help. And I don't want to lose my wife."


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: _Hey guys! I'm so sorry that this update has taken so long. My life got a little hectic with school and then my beautiful girlfriend came into town for a visit, so naturally it was all attention on her ;) This chapter is a little longer to compensate for the wait. And hopefully the next chapter won't be too far behind. I'm going to write part of it tonight when I get home after work. _

_Thanks for all the feedback and comments. If you're an anon or guest, big shout out to you. I normally individually reply in my A/N but I'm at work so I have to make this short and sweet. Enjoy!_

* * *

Callie stopped outside their front door. Her surgery had run late and she'd been forced to rely on Bailey yet again for childcare. She really owed Bailey those drinks. Her hand rested heavily on the doorknob as she mentally prepared herself for what the night would bring. Arizona had regressed from her. The hope that had settled behind her eyes when Kelsey started working for them was slowly draining every day she came home to find Arizona distant and unresponsive to her. But only to her. She'd lost track of the nights when she'd come home to find Kelsey and Arizona laughing only to receive a deflected glare when she tried to engage. Bailey said that she had many conversations with Arizona while they waited for Callie to get home on the night she retrieved Sofia. And now that Arizona could do mostly everything for herself, their interactions had been cut down to nonexistent.

She was prepared for and expecting the worst. Nerve memory had her twisting and pushing the door open, dropping her bag on the floor. It took her brain a few minutes to catch up with her eyes as she surveyed the room. Bailey was sitting on her couch, watching TV, and Sofia was nowhere to be found. Neither was Arizona; but the casual vacancy of her wife no longer registered. Her mind was isolated on her child.

She cleared her throat. "Where's my kid?"

Bailey gave her one of those knowing smiles that Callie had yet to decipher meaning from, "In her room."

"You know she can't be unsupervised, Bailey. You're a mo–," Callie stopped short when she reached Sofia's room. For a brief moment her eyes lit up, before the cloud descended over them. Arizona was in the pink room, her wheelchair a sore thumb. Sofia was in her lap. They were reading a book. "Oh."

Arizona looked up quickly, "Sof, Mami's home."

Caught between wanting Sofia to have her other mother and simultaneously wanting Arizona to not confuse her daughter anymore, she shook her head. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

"No, Callie," Arizona wheeled closer and Callie took an unconscious step back. "It's her bedtime."

"Okay," Callie understood and reached out to take Sofia, her fingers brushing against Arizona's briefly, the shock causing them to both look away.

"Hey big girl," she kissed Sofia's cheek. "Did you have a good time with Mama?"

Arizona smiled and wheeled herself out of the room so that Callie could put their daughter to bed. Maneuvering the chair through the door frame was tough and she tried to not let Callie see her struggle. But she caught Callie's next sentence.

"It's been awhile since you've seen her, huh?"

She almost turned around. She almost told her secret. She played with Sofia every time Bailey brought her home, but made sure she was out of sight when Callie got home. When she went to the hospital for her therapies she had Kelsey bring Sofia up to see her for a few minutes if she knew Callie was in surgery. There wasn't a reason for her to hide any of it, but she felt like she couldn't tell Callie any of it. So she kept going. Once she was clear of the door and in the living room, Arizona pulled Bailey's attention away from the TV. "What did I do?"

Looking at Arizona thoughtfully, Bailey said, "Nothing you can't fix, luckily. I don't know why, or if you realize it, but Callie loves you some kind of special. And not in a small way."

"Kelsey says I need to wake up and restart life. She calls my bull, but she says its okay."

"Robbins," Bailey interrupted her, standing to gather her coat and keys. "Why are you telling _me _this, and not your wife? Because I don't need to hear it, despite how sorely I want to kick your sorry ass for making me lie to her. I am going home. Talk to your wife."

"But."

"Ah, ah. Tell her the truth. You're running out of time."

Arizona nodded, watching Bailey let herself out. She had no idea how to talk to Callie anymore, where to begin. If Callie would even want to. She couldn't talk to Callie at all. After everything that had been said, she would just stare emptily every time she tried to talk to her. Callie always looked away after the pain filled her eyes. She couldn't make the words come out.

A click of a door shutting behind her made the breath catch in her throat.

"Uh, I'm glad that you're feeling up to playing with her," Callie said. "She misses you." _I do too_.

Arizona turned, poised to tell the truth. "I miss her too." _Dammit._

She nodded sadly and turned, walking away.

_Now_, Arizona berated herself. The lines around Callie's eyes betrayed her exhaustion, making Arizona hesitate. _While you have the nerve_. "Can we talk about something?"

Callie froze. Her tone was low, almost dangerous. "I really don't want to hear it."

Arizona's brow scrunched in confusion. "What?"

"If you're going to go, just go. You obviously don't need me anymore," Callie said as she turned back around to look at her wife. "So please, Arizona. I really don't want to hear it. If you need help moving your stuff, then just tell me where to put the boxes. I can't hear it."

"Callie, that's not–"

"Arizona, I'm begging you!" Callie pleaded. Arizona watched the fear clouding Callie's eyes catch fire. "I don't want to know."

"Can we just–"

"No! I'm going to take a shower. I'll be like a half hour," she cut over her. "Is that enough time?"

"Calliope Torres!"

The bathroom door slammed in her face. Arizona hadn't realized that she'd been close enough to touch her wife.

When she heard the water start running, she wheeled herself into her bedroom. Callie's determined anger had fueled her own determination. Half an hour was plenty of time.

* * *

Callie pulled on a pair of sweats and a tshirt, the same ones she'd been wearing as pajamas for a week. Her hair was still damp and she twisted it up in an unkempt pile on her head, secured with a clip. A sigh left her lungs at the reflection in the mirror. Deep lines of exhaustion framed her face. Her cheeks were sunken in. Her eyes were dull now after the tears washed away the fire. She was terrified to walk out into her apartment. _What if she really was gone?_

It was to be expected. As soon as she'd heard the breath of voice leave Arizona's lungs her heart had shut down. She knew what was coming. She'd been left before, divorced, forgotten about. She didn't want to hear the words this time. Not with Arizona, it was too much. Much too soon. Bearing the weight of reality would crush her quickly, but so far staving it off had only let her feel gravity pull her through the floor. All she could see was the way Arizona had gaped at her accusation. Maybe she had been wrong, but after Arizona's behavior over the last month she didn't really know what else she could have wanted to talk about. Eventually, the grumble in her stomach persuaded her to leave the bathroom. _When was the last time I ate? _She pushed the door open and took a blind step out. When you know the pain is coming, somehow it's better if you don't witness it.

"Callie."

Her eyes popped open suddenly, going wide with amazement, like a kid who'd never seen snow falling from the sky in winter. Her jaw hung a little slack as she tried to talk. "You're…"

Arizona uncrossed her arms and pushed off from the breakfast bar she'd been leaning against. "Walking?"

"Standing."

Arizona tugged at her jeans, lifting a leg up to reveal the glint of metal. "It's my prosthetic."

"But…how?" Callie stared, openly confused.

"Look at me," Arizona demanded.

Callie did, their gazes meeting. Arizona's blue eyes were blazing the way they used to, before the accident.

"Will you talk to me now?"

"But–"

"Please, Callie." Her tone dropped, lost it's edge.

"But how?" the confusion was boring new lines into Callie's forehead.

"If you go park your ass on the couch, I'll tell you," Arizona said. Her features softened when she saw the tears pooling in Callie's eyes. Since she was already being bold, demanding, _herself_, she decided to go with it and took the last few steps to where her wife was pressed against the bathroom door. She touched Callie's cheek, brushing away the leading tear. "I'm not leaving you, Calliope. I'm coming back."

Callie shut her eyes, willing the tears away. "I thought–"

"You assumed." Arizona stopped her. Her hand slipped down to take Callie's. "Couch. Come on."

Following, Callie watched Arizona walk with almost ease ahead of her. She could see the shift that signified a hidden limp, a quick step to ward off a pinch. She'd worked with enough amputees to spot it. But for Arizona to be walking this well she couldn't have just gotten the prosthetic. "How long?"

"You won't like the answer."

"Just tell m–"

"Almost two months," Arizona cut her off, voice raised accidentally. She was too used to yelling. Catching herself, she lowered her voice as Callie sank down onto the couch next to her. "My first appointment was two weeks after Kelsey started."

"At Seattle Pres?"

"No. At work," Arizona gritted her teeth. She had so much to tell Callie that Callie wasn't going to want to hear. It was time to debrief the duped. "I'm there almost every other day, for therapy or pt. Kelsey got her sister to help, to uh, stand guard."

Callie watched the blush of embarrassment spread across Arizona's cheeks. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I know you're going to be hurt. I see it in your eyes every time you walk in the door and I'm laughing with Kelsey. But I couldn't tell you. Because you would care," Arizona begged Callie to understand. "I wasn't strong enough for you to be there."

"Because you have to do everything yourself," Callie rolled her eyes sarcastically. "Or at least, not with me."

"Callie, I'm sorry."

"Where have I hear that before?" she snapped. "Please, continue with how you'll tell me every day for the rest of my life. It was truly endearing the first time."

"Callie! Do not throw that back in my face," Arizona growled. "You have every right to be hurt, but don't talk to me like that."

"I could have been there!"

"I didn't want you there!" Arizona watched the doors closing as Callie took in this new information. "Kelsey wasn't even there. No one was. I had to do it by myself. Because I wasn't strong enough to let you care. And then I didn't know how to talk to you anymore because I couldn't tell you! Every time I looked at you I saw the pain in your eyes and all I wanted to do was hug you and promise you that it would be alright because I was doing all of this stuff but I couldn't! The words choked my throat. I didn't know what to say, how to go back. I looked at you waiting, hoping you would say something that I could comment on about work or Sof but all you wanted to talk about was my stupid leg and I couldn't talk about that! I don't know how to say I'm sorry for all the shit that I have apparently single handedly put you through, but I am!"

"You weren't there!" Callie snapped back almost before Arizona had stopped.

They stared at each other hard for a moment before Sofia started crying.

"Shit," Callie cursed under her breath, getting up quickly to go comfort her child.

Arizona dropped her head into her hands, massaging her temples. This was not going the way she'd hoped, but it was certain meeting her expectations. It remained to be seen if Callie would come back to deal with her after dealing with their daughter. She looked up towards Sofia's room as a thought struck her.

* * *

Callie rocked her daughter, bouncing on her toes and whispering in Spanish as she tried to soothe her. A shadow crossed the door and she looked up quickly. Arizona walked into the room and held out her hands. Callie eyes her warily.

"My balance is fine," Arizona said. Callie still wouldn't give her Sofia. "Calliope, I hold her all the time, give me my daughter."

A sigh rushed around the room as another secret was divulged. The bitterness in Callie's voice did not escape her notice when she finally relinquished Sofia, "She falls asleep better with you. I know. It's been hell."

"Hey sweet girl," Arizona whispered, adjusting her balance to rock Sofia gently. It was almost second nature now. "You need to go back to sleep. Mami and I are sorry we woke you."

Callie couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips as she watched Sofia yawn and nuzzle into Arizona's chest. Arizona was humming a song that she didn't know, her eyes closed as she rocked. Sofia's eyelids drooped and soon they laid her down again, closing the door quietly behind them.

"So you haven't really missed her," Callie said when they returned to the couch, tension lingering.

"No," Arizona admitted. "Well a little. I play with her whenever Bailey brings her home or when I go to the hospital and you're in surgery. But I do miss you."

"That's your own fault," Callie glared. "I've been right here."

"Can't you just say 'I miss you too'?" Arizona rolled her eyes.

"Maybe I'm not strong enough," Callie offered.

Their eyes met, and Arizona saw the weakness. She took Callie's hands. "What are you strong enough for?"

"We have a lot to work out."

"I don't blame you," Arizona said. "For saving my life if it meant my leg. I don't blame you for that."

"So you–"

"I don't blame myself either. Not like you seem to think I should," Arizona interrupted. "Not for all of it. But life happens and you can't control it."

The grip on her hands tightened. She watched Callie search her eyes, realizing that they were gravitating towards each other slowly.

"Sometimes things happen," Arizona said softly. "And you can only deal with them afterwards."

Her blue eyes trailed down to Callie's slightly parted lips, and then back up.

"Callie, I miss you," Arizona whispered, her breath warm on Callie's cheek.

"Arizona," was all she said before their lips met. It was a sweet caress, like a first kiss. Their bodies shifted, their positions awkward. Callie felt herself trembling as Arizona's hands crept up her arms, fingers bent so her nails dragged against Callie's skin. A gasp left her lips and Arizona took advantage, pressing her tongue softly against Callie's, trying to elicit a mutual response.

She hesitated, hating herself for not just opening up to what she had wanted for so long.

Arizona pulled away, her hand gently cradling Callie's jaw as she coaxed her to open her eyes. "Okay?"

"I miss you too," Callie breathed. "But I can't just go back. So much has..."

The blonde nodded. "So where do we go?"

Callie sighed and smoothed her hands against her legs before standing up. Arizona watched her, waiting for an answer. Callie retreated to the kitchen, grabbing two glasses and an unopened bottle of wine that had been hidden under the counter since the night of the accident.

"What's that?"

Callie sat back down next to her. "We were going to drink this the night you didn't come home."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: _Hey everyone. I'm sorry that I am so late getting this posted. I know that it's been awhile. I had finals and then we lost internet at home, but it's finally here. I'm not quite sure how much more there will be to this honestly, probably another chapter or two. _

_Thank you to my lovely beta and good friend, Janelle aka J.M. Flowers, for all the help she has given me so far. As well as my girl :)_

_I hope you enjoy, sorry again about the wait :(_

* * *

Two hours later, they were three glasses in and Arizona couldn't help but note that a couple months ago they would have already been in bed. Instead, they were sitting on the couch making small talk with the space between them roaring in her ears like a nuclear war zone. Callie had filled her in on the cases that she'd had, on Derek's hand, how everyone else had recovered and left her behind to feel sorry for herself. Except she didn't say it like that, Arizona added that last part in on her own. They talked about Sofia, briefly. But they were dancing around what really mattered and Arizona didn't think that she could actually talk about it.

"Arizona," Callie chanced after a swig of liquid courage. _Coward_. "We need to–"

"But what ab–"

"Arizona, stop dodging."

"There are other things to talk ab–"

"There is nothing else to talk about!" Callie snapped a bit louder than she intended.

A scathing look glazed over Arizona's eyes briefly, but Callie could tell that it stemmed from uncertainty. After a beat, Arizona finally relented. "What did you mean when you said I wasn't there?"

Callie's eyes deflected to the dark window. With a dark laugh she said, "My entire life came crashing down that night. I felt every tick of the watch on my bedside table in my veins. You were supposed to be home at nine thirty. At ten you weren't there."

"Because of the accident."

"Let me talk," Callie kept her voice even. Arizona gestured for her to continue. "Hunt called me, told me that you never arrived at Boise. That you…they had no idea where you were. You weren't there. For four days, you weren't there. And I didn't know if you ever would be again. And then you were. They found you. You were at the hospital, and you were there. And then your infection spread, and you weren't there when you woke up again. You've been out in that forest ever since.

"Mark…he was gone too. Do you have any idea what that did to me?"

Arizona sat her glass on the table. "I know."

"You don't know!" Callie turned her glare on her wife. "My ex-husband died because he threw himself in front of a bus trying to save someone's life. I thought I would never see any of you again. I got you, and then I lost you again. It took longer, but I got Mark back for a few hours and then he died.

"We made vows. You are supposed to be the one I spend my life with. Meaning that I live life with you. And you weren't there. I couldn't grieve for Mark because I was too busy deflecting hurled insults and guilt trips, taking care of our daughter, and trying to make sure she didn't lose the one parent she had left."

"Callie."

"You left me on my own. And still the only thing I wanted was to help you. I have nothing left, Arizona. Between Mark dying, and you, and Derek's hand, and Cristina going crazy…everyone wants a piece of me and I have nothing left."

Arizona let a breath of silence pass, "Okay. Can I talk?"

"The floor is yours," Callie sunk back into the couch and tipped the bottle to her lips.

"You threw Mark's name around without a care in the world."

"Yeah, because I thought you'd want to know how he was."

"Callie, I killed him!"

Very slowly, Callie sat the wine bottle on the floor. Arizona had tossed her head back, eyes closed, breathing deeply. "What."

"Do you remember, back when we were dating, and I found you laying on a bench in the chapel when Izzie Stevens was dying? And you told me that you wished her dead every day for a year and then she was actually dying and you were praying for her to live? I didn't want a life with Mark, Callie. I actually wished him dead several times. I wished him gone. I wished horrible things to befall him when I found out that you were pregnant. And then I got over it, and he became my best friend too. He was our daughter's dad. He was a part of our family. And I loved him.

"He laid on my lap for four days, dying on me. I did everything that I could. But I broke my leg and I couldn't move. I should have been able to do more. I watched our daughter's father, your best friend, die in my arms for four days."

"You didn't kill him."

"I didn't help him."

"Arizona, you couldn't have helped him! His injuries were too severe."

"Lexie died. Mark died. And I lived. Why me? All Mark wanted was a family. All Mark ever did was look out for you and then us and he supported us, and I wished him gone. Why Derek and Meredith and Cristina? Why Mark and Lexie? They were good people."

"Okay." Arizona had picked up her wine glass again and Callie reached over to take it from her.

"I couldn't be there when you were grieving for Mark, because I feel so guilty for his death, Calliope," Arizona said. "I saw how devastated you were every time I saw your face, heard it every time you spoke."

"It doesn't make any sense, Arizona."

"I hate myself." She watched Callie's eyes flick across the room in confusion. "I'm a death sentence and I hate myself for doing this to you."

"But you didn't do anything!" Callie said, exasperated. "You didn't kill Mark. You didn't cause the crash. You're a victim! It wasn't your fault that you lost your leg."

They stared at each other in shock as new understanding sparked between them.

"The only thing you're responsible for is how you acted afterwards," Callie said softly. "But it wasn't just Mark and your leg was it? It was Nick too. You survived and he died and you weren't there for him either."

"You know I don't do well with these things," Arizona said softly. "I should have never gotten on that plane."

"Yeah, well you did," Callie snorted.

"Can we fix us?" Arizona asked hesitantly, after a few long seconds of listening to the holding of breaths. Callie didn't respond. "Callie, you aren't the only one who lost something. I lost Mark the same as you. I lost Nick. But I'll be damned if I lose my wife, too."

Her sentiments echoed Callie's months prior. Callie asked pointedly, "Even though she cut off your leg?"

Arizona looked at the floor, "I have one more secret. I know that Karev cut it off. I read my chart."

"But I made the decision," Callie said.

"To save my life."

"Still."

"Still nothing. You were my doctor when you shouldn't have been and you know that. You should have been my wife and I put you in the middle of your job and your marriage. You acted like my wife," Arizona grabbed her hand. "Look at me, Calliope."

"I think we should go to bed, Arizona," she said, standing and taking the glasses to the sink.

"But I'm just getting started," Arizona looked after her.

"It's three am," Callie yawned. "I have surgery at eight. Please."

Nodding, Arizona stood and walked to the bedroom door. She wanted more than anything to ask Callie to come to bed with her, but there wasn't room in the outpatient bed she'd insisted on bringing into the apartment. She watched Callie pull sheets out of a cupboard and throw them on the couch.

Callie bent to unfold a blanket and then turned, catching Arizona watching her from the doorway. Out of habit, she asked, "Do you need anything?"

"Come here," Arizona said softly.

Callie eyed her suspiciously. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Just come here, Calliope," Arizona held out her hand. Callie took the few steps across the room and laced her fingers with her wife's. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not running away, no matter what I threw at you, and probably will throw at you in the future. Just, thank you."

Callie's eyes searched Arizona's before flicking down to her lips and back up. "Can…can I kiss you again?"

Arizona grinned and leaned forward, meeting Callie's lips sweetly. "Goodnight, Calliope."

* * *

"Ready to go, Arizona?" Kelsey called as she came through the door the next morning. Callie and Sofia had snuck out early, before Arizona had even woken up and she was moping on the couch. "Arizona?"

"We talked last night," she looked up. "Me and Callie."

"That's great," the nurse beamed.

"She snuck out this morning."

"You're disappointed."

Arizona nodded.

"Maybe she was overwhelmed? Maybe she didn't know what she was supposed to do?" Kelsey offered. "But you have therapy in an hour."

"I called and told them that I wasn't coming in today."

"Arizona Robbins!" Kelsey snapped, suddenly irate.

But Arizona held up her hand. "I have something more important to do today. Can you call the moving people. I need to get _that _bed out of my bedroom, and ours put back in. Callie has been sleeping on the couch for far too long."

Kelsey beamed at her again, maybe they were finally getting somewhere.

Callie got home late that night, much later than Arizona had planned for and she woke with a jolt when she heard the front door slam shut. _Uh oh_.

Kelsey had helped her make the bed with Callie's favorite sheets and she had fallen asleep against the plush decorative pillows that she never understood the purpose of. Unused to the larger bed, Arizona scooted her way to the edge, and waited for Callie to come in the room on her way to the bathroom. But she never did. Instead, she heard rustling and realized that her wife was making up her couch bed again.

Reaching for her prosthetic, Arizona sighed. Apparently she was going to have to do this the hard way.

Callie spun as the bedroom door was opened. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"I was waiting for you to get home," Arizona feinted anger in hopes to goad Callie.

"I'm sorry. Emergency surgery."

"As usual," Arizona said.

Callie's eyes were dark, "What does that mean."

"It means that I waited all day to surprise my wife and she flops on the couch the second she gets in," Arizona said, tossing Callie a glance.

She watched with inward glee as confusion fixed itself to Callie's brow. "What?"

"If you'll come into the bedroom like you normally do when you get home, like you're supposed to do, you'll see." Arizona turned and walked into the room, leaving the door open in the hope that Callie would take the bait.

"What the hell?"

Astonishment had taken the place of confusion by the time Arizona turned and sat on the edge of the bed. "Like it?"

"What did you do?"

"I'm putting things back where they belong, Calliope. Starting with this bed."

Callie raised an eyebrow, "And what's next?"

"You." Arizona simply looked at her. "You've been sleeping on that couch for too long. Completely ruined it."

The wink she got confirmed that Arizona was kidding. The tears in her eyes hid her nerves. She hadn't slept in the same bed as Arizona in months. What was she supposed to do?

"Come to bed with me," Arizona removed the prosthetic and slid back, untucking the covers. "Calliope, come back where you belong."


End file.
